How is the beginning of my story?

This is a great piece of writing. Your sentence structure needs a bit of work. Shorter sentences wil can l help. You do a lot of that in revision. Also, I disagree with the person who said not to call it tragic. It's your story, your words. Tragic is perfectly acceptable. Love the quote. Period after other. Take out however. Try saying their love instead of her and my father's. Best of luck. You have a talent.